The Hidden Devil that maketh a man

Image Credit: photos.lucywho.com

How often do you find a guy spilling out the beans about his species: Man – one of the God’s most complicated creations obviously after the “Ever Complicated” Woman after all, they have an extra “wo” (No hard feelings).

Sometime back one of my close friends asked me about bad habits in guys and trust me I did not think twice before answering her whatever came to my mind. The reason well obviously, there are some really nasty bad habits that men do have. Cmon, who are we kidding all of us are flawed creations of Mr. Perfect – God the almighty as we call him. I feel it is better to admit than to allow the devil inside us to drive our partners away. I am sure I will end up getting a lot of criticism for writing this but then I feel it is important for those angelic version of girls who think guys are perfect and get committed without thinking too much :)

Traditionally, men were created to be the bread winners of the family and women were supposed to be child bearers. Times changed, and over the years as society progressed to a more neutral gender roles where both husband and wife were working together to make ends meet. Some men have evolved over the years but some have not and that is why relationship end up with volcanic eruptions.

Let us ponder over some of their typical characteristics and my sincere apologies for missing out on some. Oh and by the way, it may fit typical Indian guys only :) 

Casanova : Men have always loved having girls around them. Making fake promises to woo a girl is one of the most common things men do. They will work extremely hard to get a girl but the moment they get one, they treat them as their own property. They will use all sorts of absurd, peculiar statements to woo her – “I will do a anything for you” is one of the pet statements that guys use. Some guys do come up with creative statements like “I know you have been treated like a Princess in your family, I will make sure I treat you like a Queen… You will be the ruler of my kingdom, our kingdom. Believe it or not, girls do fall for lines like this, not all but many. The most commonly used statement is obviously those Three Golden Words “I love you”, guys use it like they are saying “How are you”. It is definitely become trite now.

Guys have a common funda “The more the merrier” after all Man is a wanting animal. Even if he has an apple he will always be interested in having one more even if he is not hungry. It is similar to having a counter in them to be proud of number of girls they pataofied (wooed). “Being a one woman man” is a rarity in today’s world that is ruled by fashion, looks, other physical traits. You fall in love for beauty once and I am sure you wouldn't wait to fall in love again. Beauty is an abstract concept for many and a very subjective term as well but then having it as a factor for falling in love can be dangerous. Most guys hit on other girls despite being seriously committed to a girl while on the other hand the girl may become a “pati parmeshwar stree” (one man woman).

Mr Possessive: Who doesn't like being possessive (except no string attached ones). There are guys who start acting like a shadow to their partner the very moment they get committed. I am sure everyone agrees that space is required for any relationship to prosper but many men fail to understand this. The moment they get committed, they will ensure their partner is broken off social contacts but they will continue to be the way they were before commitment. Lately, I have noticed many guys asking their gf’s to close their FB accounts while they continue their social media interaction. I sometimes wonder why this hypocrisy? The reason they give is “Baby I trust you but I do not trust the world” and the Babies (Girls) end up believing them blindly. After all love is really blind. 

Some men go up to the extent of asking for passwords and constantly checking their accounts. Is this what you call trust? It was always said that Trust is one of the most important elements of a relationship but I suppose with Globalization working its way up, it isn't trust anymore that works in a relationship but insecurity of losing each other.

Mr Physical: Men feel the moment they get committed the most important thing is to have sex. Many have taken it to be like a covenant for love. I wonder how girls fall for lines like “Prove that you love me by giving me a BJ or having sex” “Don’t you love me” “Show me your love”. Has Love lost the meaning or have the secretion of oxytocin increased over the years. I do understand this being common in a No strings Attached Relationships (NSAR) but then even normal relationships having the physical factor is very strange. Men feel the most important thing in today’s world is to fornicate with women. As a matter of fact, some men even maintain a score for “No. of girls Kissed”, “No. of girls Banged” It is like a status symbol. The hypocrite society definitely calls men  who are Mr. Physical as Casanova while girls end up being called Sluts. Aint it abnormal?

Alcohol: It is considered the best stress buster for the new generation. It is like a panacea be it a breakup, failure in exams, business, social issues…I am sure many believe that Kashmir Issue would be better solved at a beer table rather than at a Round table Conference. The most common dialogue you will find is “It makes me feel light, “feel aa jaati hai”, etc. Some have it to show off their style statement. It is like moment you enter a bar you have to update on FB that you have entered the bar. It has become more like a status symbol that I drink Jhonnie Walker or Chivas, etc.

Now you can find people catch up with each other at beer bars rather than a book shop. I agree times are changing but is it really for the benefit of mankind?

Sutta the great: Sutta is no longer a word for smoke it is become more like a companion. Most guys feel their hand are incomplete if they don’t have something in between their fingers (other than their partners fingers). People are not scared to empty their pockets at Khokha/Smoking counters for packets of cigarettes.  Despite media campaigns, Statutory warnings no one gives a crap about the ill effects. Many feel it is another stress buster and will ease them off their problems. In fact, a lot of board room decisions maybe taken at smoking sessions. Coffee breaks are now being replaced by smoke breaks. The next best thing might just become "Smoke Joints".

Dominism: This is one thing which is in the blood of most men. Almost all want to show their superiority. I am sure this world has more male chauvinists than ever before. They feel it is their moral right to be dominating over women but I fail to understand why always women.  I wonder if men really want to show their superiority why cant they show in front of their boss or another guy. Sometimes even the girls label that I want a guy who takes decision. I feel times have changed and so should the girls, they should start being independent rather than looking forward to their husbands for every decision. In a lot of marriages you can find women being suppressed, submissive but the blame cannot be given to the men. They should be able to rise and shine and show the men that they are capable rather than being mere robots and working on a man’s orders.

Most important thing that guys need to realize is that dominism does not show your superiority but your cowardliness and FYI, physical strength does not show superiority. You cannot win anything by being a ruler of a family as you are really digging up your own grave. What happens when you are not there? You want the family to suffer in your absence?

It is time men realize that the world has to move toward gender neutral family rather than male dominating ones.

Impatient: Yes you read it right, believe it or not. Most men don’t listen to anyone, I wonder if they even listen to themselves. It is similar to the statement from Salman Khan’s movie Wanted “Ek baar jo maine commitment de diya toh main apne aap ki bhi nai sunta” (If I have given my word for something I do not listen to even myself). There are very few men of real honor like Mahatma Gandhi who had patience and believe it or not success is very much dependent on patience. Yet, it is a rarity in guys of this generation. They are ready to fight for no reason, you hit a car by mistake and you will end up having a brawl in the middle of the road. Blame it on the weather or blame it on the lifestyle all you end up is men fighting among themselves for no reason. People cannot stop and listen to what the other person has to say. They don’t even have time to hear a sorry from the other person.

The same goes in relationships, men don’t listen and that is one of the reasons why relationships break. A girl wants tomato and the guy brings potato reason is because he assumed that she wanted this. Why can’t we spend time to listen to what the other person wants to say?

Dirty Habits: You can find variety of men with some nasty habits that include public display of dirtiness (PDD). Some of the common ones you will find are nose pickers (ones who look for a moment and then pick Gold from their Goldmine noses and then wipe it somewhere). There are some who are King of Farting, they showcase their holiness by Farting it out loud with pride. I wonder what people get by Public Farting. In fact you should look at their faces after they are through with the act. They showcase as if they have done a noble deed.

How can you forget Public Scratchers – Men who wait for a moment to scratch at bizarre places on their body and the worst part is when they are aware that people are watching.

Men have a lot to work upon if they are to woo the women of tomorrow :)

I am sure I being a guy would end up with a lot of hate mail for this :)